The Nonchalant Naming of Nervous Neurotic Notes
by Adria626
Summary: Nikola has had enough of being patient. So, he decides to take matters into his own hands. Story includes heavy doses of romance and humor, and of course Helen and Nikola. Cuz they are just so, so damned cute. I couldn't resist. Hope you all enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**The Nonchalant Naming of Nervous Neurotic Never Neutral Notes **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Sanctuary characters. If I did Helen and Nikola would be in love and making out every episode. The show would just be about them. As I am not the owners of said characters, I write and read fiction to lie to my heart and mind for a while that what I want from the show will probably never happen. **

**Chapter 1: Loving you makes me feel all hopeless inside. **

Nikola abhorred not being able to become intoxicated anymore. The life of a vampire may have been immortalized to the point of extreme pointlessness, but by god he desperately deserved to still have the ability to get somewhat sloshed and wasted.

"Life's a bitch and then you don't have the capability to get smashed anymore. Life sucks, blows, and any other form of awful endearments I can't think of right now. Perhaps the children are right; I really am horrible at naming things."

As Tesla sat in his lab, reminiscing on all the things he had invented and named randomly non-obtuse and literally unimaginative names, his thoughts drifted to the reason he wanted to desperately lose his mind for just a few hours.

The answer was simple. She had dark hair with the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever become lost in. She was, at times, much, much smarter than he. She thought of others and not just herself. He admired her and had loved her for over a hundred years, and yet her heart belonged to another.

Helen, oh **his **Helen. She had been his once, not long ago, but he had let her slip through his fingers as she fell in love with a soon-to-be murderer who would one day shatter her heart and give her a daughter to replace the ruination he had left behind.

John had never been a friend to Nikola. Nikola knew from the start that John was not all there, but telling Helen what he knew to be true would only prove to drive her a little bit away from him every time he brought the subject up to her in the most nonchalant way possible. She thought he was simply jealous and that his affection for her was more of a brotherly kind of worry, and not the man whose heart she had stolen without even knowing.

So, Nikola Tesla, a man who hated being patient for anything or anyone, had waited a hundred plus years for Helen Magnus to realize that he loved her with all his being and that he would do anything for her, and for her to one day return his affection equally.

Nikola tossed the wine bottle into the hundreds of bottles that had missed the recycling bin and quickly, without much thought, decided to work on an experiment that would get Helen's attention in the best way possible.

He just hoped he did not have to wait a hundred plus years for her to receive the message, properly and in the form it had been sent.

Writing love letters was never Nikola Tesla's strong suit, but, he realized, he would do anything to win the heart of Helen Magnus.

**Yes, there will be more. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but hopefully it will all fall together like my stories usually do. This is my first multi-chapter story. I will try and have a chapter complete and for you to read every day. If you would like to see them do anything or have any certain conversations, I will take requests. **

**~Thanks~ Adria :}**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.: I know, I know this is a long time in coming. But guess what it's finished. So you don't have to wait anymore. Enjoy. **

Nikola really didn't know how to start with writing the letters. He was an electrical genius; therefore paper was usually filled with equations and templates for his inventions. John had been the poet and James the letter fiend. He supposed he'd have to start writing from his little metallic heart.

**(The Five/spoilers for Awakenings)**

Dearest Helen,

Do you remember the leaves of autumn? When we met at Oxford? That crimson dress you wore? Any other woman would have worn black; you know to fit in, but no not Helen Magnus.

You know I would stop drinking and pinching the expensive wine from your wine cellar; but that may only magically happen if you could only love me half as much as I love you.

And I do love you. I meant it in Rome. I know you thought I was being insincere. I would have never killed you. I even told Johnny that-but you know how he doesn't listen to reason. I just wanted to impress you, and I think deep down you were.

Just so you know I could see the fear in your eyes when you figured out my plan and I saw a glimmer of anger and sadness when John's fist went through me.

My last thought was: You still look hot.

Love, Tesla…and hopefully soon to be** your** Nikola.


	3. Chapter 3

**(Sleepers)**

Dearest Helen,

I ran across this in one of your books in your massive library. 'Time's a strange Fellow, more He gives than takes and He takes all.' It reminded me of our time in Oxford before the Five. We were such friends. I loved you so much even then, I think we all did.

It seems strange to now to think you were once engaged to John and had his child and had a torrid love affair with James. They are all gone; two dead and one insane, only we remain.

I can love you Helen, if not more than, just as well as all your lovers. I know you think I am selfish and arrogant, it's true but I am still a genius no matter the fact I'm mortal now. I have adored you for a hundred plus years, and will for the next hundred and the next.

Your alcoholic ex-vampire.

P.S. You should really invest in some plastic ware. Plastic, not metal saves lives Helen.


	4. Chapter 4

**(Animus)**

Dearest Helen,

There is one song that wolf boy had on his IPod that I stole/borrowed with no intention of giving it back, (Nigel taught me some tricks).

I dedicate this song to you and to I. It's called the Scientist by Coldplay. It'd write the lyrics down, but the damned laptop becomes stuck to me every time I try to use the Internet to find the damn lyrics.

I haven't cursed in Serbian in years thanks to this new fangled bloody power. Anyway it's a good song, on that if I could sing, I would sing to you.

With all my love, Nikola


	5. Chapter 5

**(Trail of Blood)**

Dearest Helen,

You know very well how much I miss being a vampire. I knew you would be upset when the whole source blood bug thing occurred. I may have been selfish, but you forget that I was the cause of my brother Dane's death. That guilt is the kind that never fades away.

There are two points to this, I never wanted to cause you undo pain.

By the way, this may be immature and a bit premature, but if you ever allow me to do more than kiss you, I'd like our son to be named Daniel. Daniel Tesla has a ring to it, don't you think? I swear I'll ask you to marry me one day soon, (hopefully after I revamp).

Helen Tesla even has a ring to it too, I think so.

I'll love you until my dying day Helen—Nikola.


	6. Chapter 6

**(Awakenings) **

Dearest Helen,

I was serious when I said I'd never been more attracted to you as I was then and now. Wow! You have some determination for a woman claiming I'm nothing but an annoying thorn in her side.

Thank you, so much Helen. I know you won't admit this, but deep down I know you were jealous. I am sorry for being so infatuated with Alfina. You are still the only woman for me. If my heart beat it would beat for you. (I know it's cliché—see Zombie Love Song for reference to the previous sentence).

I apologize grandly for the Shakespeare. I was dying, (yes that is my excuse). I know you hate even the mention of the narotic intimidating romantic—Romantic. I blame John, but then I blame him for most anything when it comes to you and your broken, shattered, shell shocked heart.

I hear from Death Dealing Barbie that Johnny has been MIA for months, perhaps now I can make my move. But you know me, now that I've won the game against time I now have all of it to properly court you, and for you I'd wait forever. I'm serious, that's not the wine talking, vampire…remember?

Oh and I'll find some way to resurrect your '42 Bordeaux from Roosevelt. In retrospect I should have placed the De-Vamper in a less memorable bottle. Even so, I know you still like me.

Smirk. I love you.

P.S. You still look hot and sexy with a gun. And just so you know for future reference, six is my new favorite number, but I'll still always do things in threes. How about Daniel and you pick the names of the next two or five? I love you more than you can possibly understand.


	7. Chapter 7

**(Out of Blue/Carentan) **

Dearest Helen,

I know I left, for that I am truly sorry. I just needed space. (I know lame excuse). I never expected you to be gone a year from your point

Ah how I wished I had been stuck with you instead of Huggybear being with you. He had a whole year to flirt and hit on you. I am so, so very jealous. If I would have been with you it would have been six days instead of almost a year.

I did come back and helped when you were with Huggybear again! I can't believe you were married (although unhappily), to Johnny. I loved how you drove over a cliff—nice suicidal touch my dear!

Too bad it wasn't a Tesla Roadster. Now that would have been a way to go!

I love you, Nikola.


	8. Chapter 8

**(Into the Black/Helen)**

Oh Nikola I've been so blind.

I found your letters before John and I found Adam. I wish for so many things now as I hurriedly type this in Serbian. I may not be back for a while, most definitely a month; but I swear I love you and have since Oxford.

I don't know why I allowed John to sweep me off my feet like he did. You were my first love and my heart and body still aches for you. I may have had many lovers, including James; I just don't know how to make up for all my shoving off of your advances.

It broke what was left of my heart to fake your death and not see you for sixty years. I missed you much Niko.

When all this is over I swear I'll jump, maul you, take advantage of you and love you as you've always deserved to be loved.

I'll miss you the most as I go back to kill Worth and keep the time line from going to hell. I want nothing more than to run my hands through your electrified messy hair and to kiss you forever.

We will have our Daniel, Nikola and many more, I promise. I love you Nikola Tesla, now more than ever.

I'd love to say screw the timeline, but you know I can't kick Time proverbially in the teeth. As you once said not long ago, speak well of me.

I know you'll be waiting for my return.

Will all my love, Helen

P.S. You always look hot.


	9. Chapter 9

**(Into the Black/Nikola)**

Dearest Helen,

I found your letter and since you won't be back for a while, I think it will be safe to say you seriously made me cry. Imagine a 157 year old alcoholic wino magnetically electrified vampire crying. It was like electro shock therapy, really it was worse than taking a shower; and that was excruciating.

I drained the wine cellar again in a failed attempt to build a time machine with the remaining time nodes. I did it because I love you, that and I was hoping the alcohol would numb the sudden loss of your departure into the past. I know you said you'd be back soon, but soon is not soon enough.

I want to take you to your room and make you feel more pleasure than you can stand and still give you more. I want to marry you and have a family with you.

I need you to come back Helen so I can worship you, all of you until we both succumb to mind numbing satiated exhaustion. I miss you. I love you. I will wait eternity, (although impatiently) for your return.

I promise, with every bit of my wine soaked heart.

Nikola Tesla, the vampire and genius who is so, so very much in love with you…

P.S. Prepared to be:

A. Mauled

B. Ravished

C. Jumped

D. Taken total advantage of (and like it)

E. All the above and more, because baby you deserve it, (Zombie Love Song reference, again). I did pick the lock to your room. Snicker. I bet I can kiss you before you even think about shooting me for invading your personal space.

With all my love, Nikola…please don't forget me.


	10. Chapter 10

**(Into the Black/Helen) **

Nikola, Victorian London is just as dreary as ever. I found Adam in just a week and shot him before he could do anything untoward to the bloody time line. I'll be back in a month. I have a list of fun things we can do. Smirk. I hope you are well rested. Kisses and hugs.

With love, Helen.

P.S. James says hello and to treat me well. He's been a great help in the process of getting me back home. What say you to Daniel James Tesla?


	11. Chapter 11

**Epilogue**

Helen returned in a flurry of blinding yellow swirling light in the same place she had left. She was hungry, thirsty and in desperate need of a shower.

None of this really concerned Nikola Tesla. He had known she'd be back any day and had been waiting for her for four days, telling no one where he went.

"Nikola." Helen fell into his arms and wept for all the time they had lost. 

"I love you. I love you. I love you." She grabbed his face and gave him a kiss that made him stop thinking about anything but her.

They kissed for what felt like hours, the need for oxygen non-existent.

"Helen let's get you to the Sanctuary. I'll even take a shower with you. I've always wanted to wash your hair."

Helen leaned into Nikola as they walked back to the surface. She had never felt so tired in her life, but her desire for this man outweighed any common sense she dared think.

"Nikola I'm so sorry I made you wait for so long." Helen started to cry again, effectively soaking Nikola's expensive suit. (He didn't really plan on wearing many clothes around her anyway).

"You are forgiven ljubav. Let's get you home. I'm sure the children will want all of you, but they can wait until you're clean and properly rested." He grinned seductively as he kissed her forehead.

"I'd rather take that option E now, but you're right I should shower."

Helen held onto to Nikola for dear life when she saw he had driven her Tesla Roadster. Her laughter turned almost hysterical before it turned into sobs.

"Shhh Helen I intend on taking you on more than a ride in this once everything's settled down." Helen giggled for the first time in decades.

After their shower, Nikola laid Helen's body on her soft bed and began to worship every millimeter of her body. He took in every moan, sigh, and every time she screamed his name in complete ecstasy, over and over. He cherished every squirm and every move of her body as she straddled him and began to move her hips in time with his thrusts. She cried out again, a keening wail as he finally let go. He held her for hours, both sleeping better than they had in years.

Nine months later Daniel James Tesla was born with an ear splitting wail and a head full of black messy hair.

Nikola cried as he told Helen Daniel looked just like his brother Dane.

Helen kissed her husband and knew all the pain and heartbreak of the past had now been replaced with her new family. She felt a peace she hadn't felt since those halcyon days at Oxford when it was just the two of them; she the woman who dared wear crimson and he the foreigner who talked to pigeons.

**Fin**


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